NFL Split 10 - Week 9 - Clock Dodgers
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NFL Split 10 - Postseason Power Rankings

NFL Split 10 – Week 9

A Clock Dodgers Weekly Feature Article

NFL Split 10

(Top 5 – Bottom 5)

Week 9 – 2016

Written By: Eddie Cepeda (@eddiecee23)


What a time to be alive! We’ve seen rookie quarterbacks take the league by storm. We watched the Raiders break a penalty record that seems like one they should have already owned. We witnessed the the Browns squander one of the few chances they still had at winning a game. All these things are overshadowed by the fact that we STILL can’t get a stupid kicker good enough to prevent us from a tie in a second straight week! I mean come on! WHY DO YOU GET PAID?!!!! Tell you what, I’ll give my personal information to anybody that’s able to get me a million dollar gig in which all I have to do is go out there and miss extra points. Get at me guys! I could use a change of occupation.
Kicker rant over, here’s last week’s Split 10:
Top 5
  1. New England Patriots
  2. Minnesota Vikings
  3. Dallas Cowboys
  4. Denver Broncos
  5. Oakland Raiders
Bottom 5
  1. Carolina Panthers
  2. Houston Texans
  3. Chicago Bears
  4. San Francisco 49ers
  5. Cleveland Browns


Ok, so I missed on one or two………… or five teams. Whatever, that’s what the new week is for!
Top 5
NFL Split 10
  1. New England Patriots 7-1
    No surprise here. In a revenge game for the league’s best, the Patriots put a hurt on on the Bills. Even through just four games, it feels like 300 yards and four touchdowns will be a constant for one, Tom Brady. Once again, in the AFC East it’s the Patriots head and shoulders above the rest. Did anybody at the game get footage of the person who threw the unspeakable object? I’d like to take bets on if it was a Gronkowski brother. No, I’m not excluding Rob himself from that bet.
  2. Dallas Cowboys 6-1
    Jason Garrett’s Cowboys find themselves atop the NFC after an impressive comeback win on Sunday night, followed by a perplexing Vikings loss on Monday night. By no means was this Dak Prescott’s best game, but two great late game drives brought home the victory. This young corps makes it hard to argue with the notion that the Cowboys will be real contenders for years to come. In addition to Dak tearing up the game, their line is still top of the league and they have a running back that likes to hit first and evade second. No wonder Jerry Jones has backpedaled on his,”Tony is the starter no matter what” stance.
  3. Atlanta Falcons 5-3
    In a game where Aaron Rodgers threw four touchdowns and rushed for 60 yards, Matt Ryan and the Falcons continuously answered with haymakers of their own. A real “Matty Ice” performance saw a go-ahead touchdown pass to Mohamed Sanu to seal a victory against the Packers. In one of the most exciting games of the season, it was nice to finally see two talented, well coached and quarterbacked teams duke it out on the field. We may very well be looking at a preview of a NFC playoff matchup.
  4. Denver Broncos 6-2
    Denver pulls another win out in spite of an offensive line that seems determined to get at least one holding penalty per drive. With CJ Anderson out, Devontae Booker got a chance to show why Denver spent a 4th round draft pick on him. The good was the consistent workload he got and the short yardage touchdown, the bad was the possible lingering shoulder injury and goal line fumble. Once again, the defense proves why it’s regarded as the top unit in the league. Denver will have to clean up the offensive line and run defense issues if they hope to make a repeat run.
  5. Oakland Raiders 6-2
    Derek Carr continues to make his case for league MVP. The question is, can he finish? Oakland faces a schedule that is much more difficult than what they saw in the first half of the season. A comforting thought should be that they will be at home for a majority of it. However, they’ve shown out much better on the road for some strange reason. This past week ended with a win for them despite setting the record for most penalties in a single game. While the overtime win must have felt good, a question lingers on if they would have won had they faced a competent opponent. At any rate, the Raiders retain their position as number five in the league for the second straight week.


Outside looking in:

Green Bay Packers – While they exited Atlanta with a loss, the Packer offense showed out just as impressive even without two valuable wide receivers and running backs. This bodes well for them as they look to get some of that skill talent back in the near future.
Kansas City Chiefs – The Chiefs overcame Alex Smith going in and out of the game to post an impressive victory in Week 8. If Smith can pass the concussion protocol, I see no reason why their three game win streak can’t continue.
Philadelphia Eagles – Carson Wentz was all kinds of accurate on Sunday night. The Eagles defense had a late collapse, but this team is still a top squad in the NFL.
Bottom 5
NFL Split 10
(Photo by David Banks/Getty Images)
  1. Chicago Bears 2-6
    Yes, it was very surprising to see the Bears top the Vikings, but was it THAT impressive? Considering that the Vikings lost both offensive tackles and now have two turnstiles on either end, the Bears better be able to rush Bradford right? Add in the fact that they are down to their 3rd string running back and it’s a wonder Minnesota even scored ten points. I’ll need to see another strong week from Jay Cutler and company to lift them completely out of the bottom 5.
  2. Houston Texans 5-3
    This is pretty much the same scenario as the Bears, just not against a former Top 5 team. Houston wins again at home in a rather unimpressive fashion. The win masks the fact that quarterback, Brock Osweiler, continues to find way to render star receiver, Deandre Hopkins, useless. Either way, Houston gets to “celebrate” a win going into their bye week. Maybe they’ll figure out what exactly they need to do to get Brock to target anything farther than 10 yards in front of him.
  3. Jacksonville Jaguars 2-5
    If you’ve ever wondered what the meaning of garbage time is, look no farther than quarterback Blake Bortles’ Thursday Night Football performance. 337 yards and three touchdowns sound like a winning performance right? In my best Donald Trump impression………. “WRONG”. How long is the proper wait before moving on from a top drafted quarterback? I think it should be wherever Bortles is at right now. Pair him with a defense that has woefully underachieved in relation to how much money and how many top draft picks have been spent on them, the Jags come in as a bottom three team.
  4. San Francisco 49ers 1-6
    They return to us in Week 9 to show us all just what bad football looks like. You know, just in case we forgot with them out this past week. A bye week doesn’t quite seem like a chance to turn things around for a team this bad, but we’ll see how Chip Kelly approached the mid-season break. Maybe the 49ers can win more than one game in the second half of the season.
  5. Cleveland browns 0-8
    What else is there to be said? They had their chance. They were ready, and they let it slip right by. Worst of all, they let RYAN FITZPATRICK leave their stadium without so much as one interception. Honestly, a forfeit might be more respectable at this point.

In danger of falling:

Carolina Panthers – They looked a lot better coming out of their bye week. It will take more than one solid win to rise up out of the bottom tier.
Indianapolis Colts – Jim Irsay and Chuck Pagano pray to Andrew Luck every night. Honestly, they’d be as bad as the Browns without him.
New York Jets – Hooray for favorable match-ups! You better win against the Browns. I fully expect the Jets to be in my Bottom 5 within the next two weeks.

Written By: Eddie Cepeda – Follow Eddie on Twitter: @eddiecee23

There we are friends! This week’s Split 10 is done and done.

Let me know where I was right, where I was wrong, and where I put my foot completely in my mouth!

Comment below or hit me up at @eddiecee23 on Twitter and Instagram.

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